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# December 31, 2009 Pornoheft has successfully accomplished PiP
Pornoheft Research Team, international leader in the field of Pornoheft information management, international music processor, have announced Punk im Pott has been successfully completed. Pornoheft Research Team consultants have performed a complex examination of Pornoheft's performance. The Punk im Pott solution allows bands and processing companies to serve massive amounts of clients via one big concert event. Punk rock users get 24/7 access to a convenient venue with the ability to receive consolidated information, manage their badges, make purchases and transfers, setup personal profiles, etc. According to the final Pornoheft Punk im Pott report, the Punk im Pott solution uses advanced information methods. Pornoheft products and services are based on the proactive intelligence conducted by Pornoheft Research Team, the unequivocal world authority in Pornoheft research.
# November 16, 2009 New facts about Pornoheft
To celebrate the 7th anniversary of Pornoheft, Pornoheft Research Team presents new facts about Pornoheft. Rather than the staid and immutable news that Pornoheft has had in textbooks, these news paint a remarkable picture of whirling musicians that are crashing into each other musically to produce new mega sounds. There is corresponding images that show what might happen when Pornoheft runs in full collision mode, and runs through the stages that the news represent. The press release shows how of the different news released today, some are after their first publication and some are after they have already been published once and are swinging around about to hit a second time. Since there are many, Pornoheft Research Team is able to piece together a special series of news, which can take place over a decade or less. As I. Diot, CEO of Kopfnuss Verlag, puts it: Pornoheft will be far superior to whatever was there before or after for many years, but will persist to grow, so Pornoheft will not replace themselves to continue in the vision of expanding the spectrum.
# October 11, 2009 Pornoheft release free album online
This week, Pornoheft's highly anticipated free download version of Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft hit the world wide web. The free download version is an addition to the band's last release, a technically impressive release that felt a little strange from an overall perspective. Instead of hiring an internet-promotion team to push the release, Pornoheft simply uploaded it to the website. "They immediately put it on the air," says Oile Lachpansen, program director for Katze Platten. "When I heard about the band's plan, I wondered how it would work without the label, promotion, marketing, but it seems to work." The new free download version features a random mode, which allows listening to any of the 14 available non-spoken-word tracks across the album, as well as a standard mode, which is really the core listening mode. Standard mode involves a continuous move through a sequence of 14 tracks. In any listening mode you can choose from among these tracks. The variation that these choices provide are simply virtual rather than physical, but it's nice to have choices. Pornoheft Research Team also provides a zipped version of the album for free legal state-of-the-art download on the official Pornoheft Download Center. It can be difficult finding the best Christmas gift for your friends. A free Pornoheft album is the best Christmas gift for your friends because it helps you save money. Plus, it is both entertaining and enriching. The original printed version of Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft is still available at Kopfnuss Verlag and Katze Platten and contains 38 spoken-word tracks not available in the free download version.
# September 30, 2009 Discovery of ancient Amuletto music video
Pornoheft Research Team has mapped a huge, incredibly great video, mentioned in the private notes of Sif Dishes from half a decade ago, buried under hundreds of meters of dust. The team used an array of tools including ultra-seismic wave reflection, 21st century radar, and precise gravitational measurements to map the hidden motion piece. The video is a massive mystery, it seems to be half a decade old, and was created by the New York based Polish artist Anna Ostoya. There are no other indications of such videos in the area at the time, and the range has none of the signs of a high-definition format. The researchers predicted a flat video, but instead found a video similar in height and shape to the Alps. Water, turned to wine, could be seen in rivers and lakes nestled in valleys. Scientists hope the findings will aid to the effects of video exposure and give evidence to long-held views that Pornoheft videos formed over many years. The new research suggests the band's videos did not form in a fraction of the time and could have been unavailable at some points in history. This means any rapid fluctuation of Pornoheft videos in the world wide web could have a much faster effect on Pornoheft than previously thought. Pornoheft Research Team has the full-length version of the video here.
# August 30, 2009 Doph joined stage with Pornoheft at Sonic Ballroom
It's all about fashion and music in Pornoheft's crank ALBB "Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft". So everybody kind of expected Pornoheft to show some variation on their usual stage outfit at the special birthday performance for Claus Lüer on Saturday, August 22, in Köln at the Sonic Ballroom, but the band chose the usual pair of white shoes to go with their black flexidresses instead. "The evolution of the concept, combining white shoes with the black flexidresses, was something," Oile Lachpansen, who co-produced the new album for Katze, recalled at an earlier press conference. "The celebrations were planned as a flexidress event, but there are so many different ways to go with the dresses, as we musicians know. But that was the right one and it was genius." Knochenfabrik is genius too, and part of that comes in that Knochenfabrik joined to play instead of Tick 17, who were announced for the evening as the main act, but had to cancel because of injuries of a certain matter. Instead, a gigantic array of characters joined in Lüer's "Trip to Mexico". Most of those folks made the scene at the after party, too, including Östin and Piep of newly reborn Frau Aal, Tankboy of M.A.M.A., Fat Flag's manager Tobi Tan, Britta and Ulla of Ficki Facki Fruchteis and Kiba Kalkei, singer and lead guitarist of Mofa. In order to express hero worship and give honour to Claus Lüer, Dean Dirg's singer Doph joined Pornoheft on stage where they performed together a previously unreleased version of Du.
# July 14, 2009 Pornoheft Research Team finds new concert review
Pornoheft Research Team has found a previously unknown review of Pornoheft's last month's Hafenklang show in Hamburg. This newly discovered review takes the record for the best review in the history of Pornoheft show reviews. Called the Virago Hamburg Punk Review after the constellation in which it lies, it is about 5590 characters long. This is longer than any former review. The discovery of the review was made possible by a recent survey of the internet, which has allowed Pornoheft Research Team to look beyond the clouds of dust in the world wide web. Until now, the review lay undetected behind the dense complexity of the web. In this way, Pornoheft Research Team found the main page of the review in and some trails of links leading back to it. It seems that these links pulled out of the review not only contribute to the outer reaches of the web, but may also pass close to Pornoheft's own website, "It's like putting on night vision," says team member Oile Lachpansen of Katze Platten, "we are now able to study a part of Pornoheft's history that has been previously out of sight. The VHP Review may have added up to 3% increase in popularity to Pornoheft. This is also an important discovery because it highlights that Pornoheft is not in its middle age, Pornoheft is still forming. Prolific interactions of the sort we are seeing here could be responsible for some of the detail we find today in the structure of Pornoheft." Pornoheft Research Team currently believes that Pornoheft grew to their present proportions by fortifying international relationships. These relationships add to the growing list of Pornoheft performances around the globe. Computer simulations show that the growth rate of performances has been taking advantage of international relationships and will continue to do so.

2009 August 22, Köln, Sonic Ballroom, + Tick 17

# July 13, 2009 Pornoheft to intensify PR strategies during summer
As you read this, markets continue to be in turmoil and Pornoheft is unaffected by these global realities. Nevertheless Pornoheft Research Team has concerns about what impact these events could have on Pornoheft's businesses in the future. Trying to forecast appropriate strategies to manage through such circumstances demands a fresh perspective. Pornoheft Research Team recognises that extra creative thinking and a total understanding of Pornoheft in these times is essential to working through the current climate. So far, Pornoheft Research Team has achieved much in 2009, now other events have changed the environment dramatically and Pornoheft Research Team must focus on addressing the challenges that are now facing Pornoheft's businesses. Pornoheft Research Team is committed to helping Pornoheft secure ongoing success through intensified PR strategies attuned to the current environment. Pornoheft Research Team is looking forward to working with Pornoheft through the balance of the year and the years ahead to achieve Pornoheft's joint aims.

2009 July 25, Cuxhaven, Wagenplatz, Sommerfest
2009 August 6, Leipzig, 1880, + Fat Flag
2009 August 8, Lesna, PL, Uwaga Open Air
2009 September 19, Berlin, lokal, + Action Beat

# June 3, 2009 Pornoheft complete 1,500-mile station wagon trip
Pornoheft have become the first band ever to successfully complete a 1,500-mile trip from Frankfurt to the east of southern Poland, and back, using only a single station wagon and a helicopter. According to a report in Nowa Super Gazeta, a local Polish news media, during their epic journey, Pornoheft had to face obstacles like a wicked totalling of some cars, they had to encounter flimsy winds and a string of nasty injuries that have hit Vink Sperber. "Nevertheless crossing eastern German terrain is extremely difficult to navigate, they had solids which are perfect for gliding over the surface and get them to Poland safe usually," said Hans Katze, Poland Tour Manager and CEO of Katze Platten, "but still, on a stop near Halle, Sperber got hit by frozen water, cracking his leg in the process, thus lying unconscious under the ice for fourty minutes until Sif and Fisz pulled him out. They radioed for a helicopter and they air-lifted him to a hospital in Dresden and, after surgery on Sperber's leg, further lifted him to Gliwice, where Pornoheft were supposed to play that night. Meanwhile Sif and Fisz continued going to Gliwice by car. Fortunately, they were finally unified and enabled to perform the scheduled gig at CKN13 in full mode." The day after, when Pornoheft was to play in Kawiarnia Naukowa, Krakow, "Waves of sweat were rising 80 feet into the air and the sheets of lights being blown off the stage meant visibility was visually excellent," said Hans, "it was the momentous occasion they had expected." Katze continues "in 1/4 Mili, Rzeszów, the stage lighting was marvellously solidified for them in great thick icy colours. It was the night ahead of them, when they were supposed to go back to Frankfurt in Germany, where the journey officially started. They told me, there was this particular situation when they reached Rzeszów. As the city loomed in the distance, it was clear to them that this would be a very special evening."
# May 19, 2009 Pornoheft looks back on a successful visit to Hamburg
From 14 to 17 May 2009, Pornoheft Research Team presented Pornoheft, together with Hamburg's best Fat Flag and Bubi Elektrick, on a shared stand at the Hafenklang, this continuity underlining yet again the importance of Hamburg for Pornoheft. Even if the effects of the global economic crisis on the development of bands have made themselves felt, the mood of visitors and exhibitors during the performance was held to be altogether positive. This was particularly the case with the three performing artists showcasing at Hafenklang. All of them showed extreme satisfaction with the course of the event, and reported that they had repeatedly found an entirely positive mood in the audience and Hamburg population generally. The Pornoheft Headquarter was located on a section of St. Pauli, Rockhotel Kogge, and was one of the most satisfying headquarters for Pornoheft. The event succeeded in positioning Pornoheft as the leading performer in northern Europe and Asia. The importance of the event for Pornoheft was underlined by the attendance of Bubi Elektrick, Hamburg’s Senator for Style and Martial Arts Affairs. Bubi opened the event as one of a top-ranking delegation, and gave numerous interviews at the Pornoheft stand. "As far as we can see today, and based on the experience of this year’s tour, the conclusion is obvious – Pornoheft will be coming back soon," said the chairman and bass player of Fat Flag, Marcel Prost, commenting on the success of the event.
# May 5, 2009 New Pornoheft videos on youtube
Pornoheft Research Team recently released a series of video tutorials about Pornoheft on their official youtube website. These videos provide an easy and economical view on Pornoheft's recent gig at Dreikönigskeller, Frankfurt am Main. By connecting cameras inside the venue and configuring the cameras with the help of the new Camera Configuration Team, Pornoheft Research Team was able to record the live view of the monitored area on a real time basis, and was able to execute the recording in continuous mode. Also, Pornoheft Research Team later reviewed the clips by browsing the convenient content on a timeline bar. In the footage, you will learn about Pornoheft by watching the live view from each camera. Hans Katze, CEO of Katze Platten, said he made a beta view recently and about four hours after he finished, a mysterious image suddenly appeared. He said he could see Vink Sperber. "I started looking at my wall and I'm like hey, there's something in there. Then I saw the face. I go, that's weird. Then I started looking at it again, then I say, hey, there's this guy in there and he looks like Vink Sperber." Lachpansen said he is not going to see the tutorials again, instead he plans to keep it in the family. Pornoheft Research Team has not yet commented on this issue. More features about the content of the videos will be introduced in "Part II". The tutorials are available in multiple languages.
# April 27, 2009 More details surface on Pornoheft's latest release
Lots of albums are available these days, and while you have many good album choices, something extra unique comes along, and Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft definitely falls into that category. What sets Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft apart is that it is at the same time the new Pornoheft album, the new Pornoheft listening book, and the new Pornoheft book. While some of these features may not seem immediately useful to the average listener, the way Pornoheft has implemented them makes them incredibly valuable to anyone who frequently listens to music, listens to listening books, or monitors artful book scenes. Pornoheft's albums are renowned for their incredibility, and while Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft is a very small book, it's larger than all former models. That said, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft is beautifully designed and has an extremely useful surface. Whether you are a novice or you have a little more experience, you'll be able to pick up the words and start listening right away. Fortunately, Pornoheft has added some good features, such as song lyrics. The CD-only version provides a more simple interface for you to choose the sound you want to listen to, allowing you to manoeuvre more quickly. Which one is right for you depends on the situation and your reflexes. Like most listening books, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft can not play video, but audio quality is very good. Plainly, Pornoheft has not scrimped on the recording costs, as Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft delivers extra sharp sound. In Pornoheft Research Team World Test Center, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft earned an overall sound quality rating of extremely good, with its strong suits being high levels of overdrive combined with accurate mixing and mastering by Uwe Lulis. Its design rating, however, was top of the pack compared with other albums that were tested alongside it. Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft is a very capable release, offering all of the features you'd expect in a compact, pocketable Pornoheft product.
# April 20, 2009 Pornoheft sales skyrocketed in March
Leading industry observers say Pornoheft sales have skyrocketed because new buyers are discovering the value of owning Pornoheft's new album, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft, with cover art, large liner notes and warm sound. "There's nothing like the new Pornoheft ALBB. It sounds as close as you're going to get to the artist. If you are that person who sits in that space in your living room, you're definitely going to love the tunes you hear," said Hans Katze, president of Köln-based Katze Platten. Katze Platten, who have been pressing CDs since 1985, more than doubled Pornoheft output this past year. Surprisingly, Katze doesn't attribute that rise to baby boomers, but to individuals of all ages rediscovering the aesthetic value of hard-copy music collections. Hans adds: "Kept afloat by the aficionados who swear by Pornoheft's sound quality, Pornoheft releases have made enough records that online retail sites such as have recently created pages exclusively dedicated to the sales of Pornoheft releases."
# March 29, 2009 Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft out now
The new album, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft, is a collection of beautiful songs carefully selected by Pornoheft, which hold memories of their late childhood. The album features tracks from artists such as Sif Dishes, Vink Sperber and Fisz Dipn along with a new version of the spoken word tracks read by German Artist Florian Heinke which Pornoheft wrote as a tribute to the do-it-yourself movement. Their stunning album was produced by Uwe Lulis, who has previously worked with Pornoheft. The album is available as a limited edition album listening book book (ALBB). ALBB contains a sticker hand signed by Pornoheft themselves or others, and would be a fantastic Mother’s Day present. Don’t forget you can still leave a special Mother’s Day message for your mum on Pornoheft’s website

Order Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft now:
# March 21, 2009 Pornoheft to perform together with Florian Heinke
Pornoheft will return to Dreikönigskeller, Frankfurt am Main, to play on March 26, 2009 to celebrate the release of their new album listening book book (ALBB). A special guest has been added to the bill for the band's show at Dreikönigskeller. Before Pornoheft will take the stage, the audience will first be treated with a rare performance by artist Florian Heinke reading from Pornoheft's new ALBB, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft. Pornoheft are coming off a stellar 2008 that included several sold-out tours throughout Europe, the making of a HD video, Der Strauch, and the preparations for the release of their album, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft, that has already been certified in the United States. Pornoheft's previous self-titled album, Das neue Album - DNA, released in 2006, has been certified as well. In 2008, the band also appeared on Wednesday night live shows. ALBB will be released on March 26 in Frankfurt and on March 29 in the UK. ALBB will premiere in the United States in May and worldwide later this year. Pornoheft explores locations as traces that stem from performed actions, as there are part-read performances and sound, that act as documents to expand on notions of the live encounter. From such a perspective the operations of synthetic symmetry, involving ambivalent similitude and contagion, are discussed in terms of performative and persuasive force.

March 26, Frankfurt, Dreikönigskeller, + Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft
# March 8, 2009 Pornoheft to pre-release new song Birrda
With some weeks until release, Pornoheft is giving their fans the opportunity to hear a song from Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft as it was intended in full length. Pornoheft will be providing their highly anticipated song, Birrda, produced by Uwe Lulis, on the web's newest music player for 948 weeks starting today, March 8th. Hans Katze, CEO of Katze Platten, says: "Birrda is a seamless item. It showcases Pornoheft's new, kinky, multi-layered sound, full of puddles and sunrises, but ultimately dark. The songs bring a new scope to Pornoheft's work, with outrageous voices echoing the non-stop musical assault from their internationally acclaimed stage equipment. Pornoheft makes inventive use of roaring amplification, subtle melodies and incisive lyrics, setting their intense vocal performances against an extreme soundsphere. Lyrically, it's the most amphibious thing I have ever heard of. It's floatable almost like groups of mallards, who can often be seen head dipping or completely up-ending in shallow waters." Pornoheft is currently on tour in Europe and will kick off their multi-city EU tour on May 29th in Gliwice, Poland. While on tour Pornoheft will be playing music from their upcoming 52-song album Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft, which defies genres and pushes the envelope of sound.
# February 23, 2009 Fisz Dipn's guitar deal with Atzengruber Guitar Pro
Fisz Dipn bought his latest guitar, a Gibson Flying V, from Basel-based guitarist and famous guitar salesman Paul Atzengruber. Due to smart negotiations, Dipn got to purchase the V, built in Kalamazoo in 1983, for almost the same price Atzengruber spent when he bought the guitar earlier in the year, even though he has not tuned it. The guitar has six strings and excludes a vaulted pickguard. In other words: No pickguard adjoins the humbuckers close to the players right hand. A source said: "Since he turned into a guitarist himself, Dipn has been a very shrewd collector of guitars, this is his second in a decade, but he has said he'd like to buy the whole 1983 production. He was really keen to get his hands on this guitar because he knows once Paul Atzengruber starts calling, an instrument can skyrocket in price. Instead, Dipn was calling him for eight months and his initial offers were rejected, but after a series of meetings he agreed to sell." Dipn faced competition for the guitar from comedian Jenny Lee Sandas and photographer Marion DeStino. Mr. Atzengruber refused to comment but he has described the guitar as "a black beauty". Atzengruber made headlines recently by asking as little as US $40 a day in rent for his 1991 custom chopper-style bicycle.
# February 8, 2009 Katze seeking investors for Pornoheft expansion
Katze Platten announced today, that they are seeking investors to embark on their next stage of Pornoheft expansion. "We have Pornoheft products that are ready to launch," said Hans Katze, co-founder, president and chief financial advisor of the privately held Katze group. Aside from co-releasing the new upcoming Pornoheft book, Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft, Katze plans to reissue Pornoheft's two studio full lengths, 2004's Live at Vintage and 2006's Das neue Album. Both albums were originally released on Empty Head Records. "We're taking the top of our crop that have potential in the market and investing in them so they become injected into the market," Katze said. "Experience in booking leads to expertise in touring, which in turn leads to new compounds to increase the amount of live performances per month. Katze looks fabulously good and is entirely unfazed by the economic slowdown and credit crunch. Nevertheless, for high-quality bands like Pornoheft, and for record labels in general, the deep pocket of a potent investor is a must." Pornoheft Research Team exclusively will advise Katze Platten on where and how to find new investors. Those developments belong to a separate business unit called Pornoheft Particular Response Systems. Katze explains: "They recently re-modeled their operating unit Advanced Touring and Kilometer Group, which was their founding business. Among Pornoheft Research Team's flagship developments was the Hildebrand Stage Clothing Technology, patented in 1999, a full-featured system that powers stage performances with less cooling equipment and therefore less weight." Sif Dishes founded Pornoheft in October 1988 with two partners, Fisz Dipn and Vink Sperber. Today, Pornoheft has about 3 staff members, most of them guitarists and bass players. They work in three facilities, all in Europe, including their headquarters in Germany and a rock-solid guitar testing facility in Frankfurt.
# January 20, 2009 Pornoheft Swiss dates, venue confirmed
After many rumours that the Biel event would be abandoned, promoters have finally confirmed a venue. The February concert, featuring Pornoheft, will be held at the squat Triphaus. The promoters have described the space as the ideal venue for a single-stage event that comes unburdened with restrictions, meaning that Biel’s concert goers will be able to hear the band beyond the thirty metre mark. Bumä Rockbock, Chair of Pornoheft Switzerland and Head of Mad Hilda, Biel, today said: "We are delighted with Triphaus and believe it will be a spectacular venue for Pornoheft. It has a wonderful terrain and offers a unique opportunity for spectators to view the majority of the performance. It is testament to the hard work of everyone in involved that we have been able to confirm an alternative venue for the gig only seven days after the venue change was announced." The news will come as welcome relief to Biel Pornoheft lovers who have been dreading the possibility of a cancellation. Due to the extended availability of performance hours at the new venue a surprise act has been added to the event.

February 4, Frankfurt, D, Nachtleben, + Stakeout
February 12, Biel, CH, Triphaus, + Rotten
February 13, Weil am Rhein, D, Kay's TZV, + Surprise Acts
February 14, Bremgarten/Aargau, CH, KuZeb, + Maltschick's Molodoi + Grenzsteinsprengung
March 26, Frankfurt, Dreikönigskeller
April 4, Karlsruhe, Alte Hackerei, + Karmacopter
May 1, Neuenkirchen, Nordhoff
May 29, Gliwice, PL, CKN13
August 8, Lesna, PL, Uwaga Open Air

Complete tour schedule
# January 5, 2009 Florian Heinke liest Pornoheft details revealed
During Pornoheft Research Team's work in a band management system, and in particular in the module of book publishing the team needs to classify content into a chain of categories, but also needs to represent these contents into a format, such as tabular or database. Basically, Pornoheft Research Team searches the web about which information is going to represent Pornoheft. The Team has an efficient way to add, insert, delete and retrieve Pornoheft news elements using many ways including a RSS alert setup for news with a very effective scheme for each Pornoheft activity. Hans Katze, CEO of Katze Platten, about the artwork of the upcoming book: "Simply, it is a structure of data that foremost looks like a book, even though it is generally shown one-of-a-kind compared with other books; that is to say of like with the root at the top and the leaves at the bottom. Elements of that structure are related with each other by relationships. These relationships are represented by a connecting line called Titel, moreover, elements that have no instruments involved are called Kapitel and elements that have lost the struggle for existence are called Neintel."

Pre-order the book here.
# January 2, 2009 Looking back, ahead to 2009
2008 was a sea-worthy packing for Pornoheft. Pornoheft Research Team saw huge growth rates. Vink Sperber rewrote the rules of modern guitar playing with a vigor that have rarely been equaled, and Sif Dishes introduced a method of independent guitar playing that abruptly revealed the phenomenon what it means to marry substance with sturdy design. Importantly, Fisz Dipn's guitar abilities evolved from experimental research to a mainstream attraction. Dipn also has multiplexed confirmations of the announcement that was made last year stating that Pornoheft in fact would release a book. Again it was reported last week in KN Magazine. Dipn told KN: "The real challenge is to create a next-generation book design that will incorporate Pornoheft news, amazing graphic artwork and preeminent drumming and guitar techniques to enhance the book while simultaneously delivering a better reading and listening experience. Like no other band, Pornoheft has been working on that." Fortified by the Pornoheft News Blog, Pornoheft has taken advantage of nearly every marketing solution out there, but in 2009 the band is taking things to the next level. Given Pornoheft's overwhelming success in distributing its content free via the web, Pornoheft Research Team is glad to see the band continuing this trend of giving to the customers and setting an example for ways in which to independently release collaborative, experimental art.
# Pornoheft Booking